Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
