Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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