My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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