So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
