they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
