Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
