So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
