I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
