That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
