tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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