Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
