I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
