last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
