you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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