Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Who died my cat blue again?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
