Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
