she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
