Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
