Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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