ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
