Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
