Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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