My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
