Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Boobs are out for the taking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
