I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
