eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
