Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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