He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
