Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
