Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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