I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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