god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it because I queefed?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
