Nicole vs. Life
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
