BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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