maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
