party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
