Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
