ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
