Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
