The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
