What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
