Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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