No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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