My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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