Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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