Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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