That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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