If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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