Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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