Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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