Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
